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Where Do Our Children Learn Bullying? From us!

Driving is an easy vehicle to practice ending the “bullying cycle” You are driving the safe speed limit on a windy country road after dark and the person behind you is in a hurry.  You can feel the tension.  You can see the tension through the flashing high beams.  There is nowhere to pull off and the double yellow line is properly painted to discourage passing.  You can see the look on the person’s face and they are motioning you to speed up.  You know any faster would be unsafe, and the impatient driver behind you doesn’t care.  He is determined to make you go faster, flashing lights, motioning for you to pull over or speed up, honking and shaking his hand at you.  There is nowhere to pull over!  The … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting tips

An Open Letter to Fathers and Men about Daughters and Emerging Young Women

Dear Dads (and other Male Role Models), Our impact on our daughters, nieces, stepdaughters, and granddaughters is immense.  They love us, look up to us, and even revere us.  Sometimes they dislike us, resent us, are disappointed in us and wish we didn’t care so much. When we listen to them, understand them, advise them, and forgive them they appreciate and feel it deeply. When we manifest our “papa bear” desire to protect them from all mistakes and perils with anger, manipulation, and fear we alienate them and even sometimes push them to risky activity.   When we manifest it in a loving, compassionate and mindful way, they will hear us.  They need to make mistakes to grow, and their mistakes touch our heart in the deepest way.  We work to separate sensible … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips

Your Child’s Music Life

How can music live in a child’s life? How do children develop their musical taste? How do you choose the right instrument is for your child? What is an appropriate time to start lessons and how do we ensure it is a positive experience? These are all common questions we as parents have about how best to support and include music in our children’s lives. Music is a universal language, and it is rare to find anyone who just plain does not like music. Musical taste is subjective, and can vary with temperament, personality, mood and many other mysterious factors. Music has played an essential part in the developmental life of human beings since Primal times. As a violinist, music teacher, parenting educator, parent and grandparent, much of my … Read entire article »

Filed under: children's music studies, parenting advice, parenting tips

Perfectionism—An issue for all ages–or 80/20!

I was one of those kids who would be upset that an A- was not an A or A+.  I feel frustrated and annoyed at a 780 credit score, balking at the things that I “got marked down for”.  (780 is a very high score, sufficient for any loan) I used to get up each morning with the intention of having a “perfect day”, of never saying “the wrong thing”, showing up on time, and doing it all right. When I got home, I asked myself the question “Was I the best and did I do the best I could do today in all situations? How close to perfect was I?” The answer was usually no, as I poured over the few things that I “messed up’ during the day, thus … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting tips, self confidence

Pay now or pay later; Parenting Advice that Works!

There are a large number of lessons we have to learn from infancy to adulthood in order to make us functional, happy, well-adjusted, self-supporting adults.  As a matter of fact, there are hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands. We learn most of these lessons from observation, being taught, or common sense realization. Others, we learn through experiencing consequences to our actions.   As children we may be taught the importance of sharing, why we should not hit others, and why we use the toilet and not our pants.  As we get older we generally learn things that are reflective of our age and maturity.  If the sign says, “walk” but a car is speeding through, don’t walk.  Don’t eat random wild mushrooms if you are not a mushroom expert.  Don’t take a … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips

Clear Way to Make a Good, Right Decision–Sentiment or Heart; Flip a Coin

  Imagine you have a decision to make.  It is a difficult decision and one that necessitates mindful attention.  The decision is a huge one, one that will take you on a very different path than any other decision.  Or, it is a small, but essential, pivotal decision of the moment.  Try the following practice. Notice your sentiment.  Sentiment is feeling based on emotion, opinion, self-concern, fear, sadness, nostalgia. It has the Latin root word for “feel” in its very fiber.  It often starts with “I should…”, “I am afraid…”, “What if…”, “I will miss…”, “I fear..”, “I can’t…”, “I shouldn’t,,”  It has lots of “buts” and “ifs”. After you immerse yourself in your sentiment, know that it is not a great basis for a decision.  It could cause you to miss a great opportunity.  … Read entire article »

Filed under: Featured, parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships

Back to School Pep Talk–Success Strategies

What kind of student are you?  What are your gifts and challenges? Perhaps you are someone who tends to procrastinate, forgets to do your homework, has problems doing well on tests, does assignments but forgets to turn them in, has a reputation for being disruptive in class, is often tardy, can’t remember the assignment. Do you have time-management issues or are plagued by distractions of media, texting or lack of motivation? Is your backpack a disastrous, disorganized mess? Are you sometimes even tempted to cheat or plagiarize, rather than disappoint your parents?  Maybe you are a student who is a perfectionist, a chronic worrier, or an over-achiever who is stressed, sleep-challenged and cannot turn it off.  Do you have well-intentioned parents with high, sometimes unrealistic expectations, which may frustrate you and cause you … Read entire article »

Filed under: Featured, parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips

Summer Camp Gives Many Gifts for Kids!

Enjoy this article from Common Ground about the benefits of summer camp. … Read entire article »

Filed under: Common Ground, parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips, summer camp

Discipline—Can only Come From Anger, Control or Love

Disciplining a child can come from only 3 places; anger, control, or love. If you have parented, grand-parented, babysat, or been a teacher or caretaker for a child, you know that feeling of utter exhaustion, overwhelm, and eventual meltdown that makes the textbook parent into someone they themselves don’t recognize…  screaming, saying unkind works, being too wrapped up in being “right”,  wanting to hurt the other, even those we love the most!  We have all been there either in our mind, or our reactions. Here is some seasoned advice: When your child is out-of-line, breaks and agreement, breaks a rule, taunts you, hurts you or someone else, first, PAUSE ……. —Feel your anger.  Own your anger.  Experience your anger. —Feel your self-control.  Love your control —PAUSE……………………………… —Wait until the anger and control morph into love.  Then … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting tips

Parenting and Your Child’s Musical Life

Enjoy this article in Common Ground about your child’s musical life! … Read entire article »

Filed under: children's music studies, Common Ground, parenting advice, parenting teens