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Parenting our Teens; Helping them with their Stress- Part 1
This article is about how stress causes problems in our teens like self harm, eating disorders, depression, anxiety and suicide In case you don’t have time to read this, but want the information, here you go: Spend enough quality time with your teens and pre-teens so that you continue to know them and have healthy attachment through these difficult years. Have a clear view of what the parameters of “normal” are for your child, and pay attention to behaviors that call out for help. Sometimes these behaviors will seem like they are intended to alienate you, but don’t fall for it. Not being a therapist or a clinician, I see it as appropriate for me to refrain from description, diagnosis, analysis or suggested remedy for these challenges, and for the rise in their … Read entire article »
Filed under: Blessings, children's music studies, Common Ground, Featured, gratitude, Jewish Community Events, Oakland A's, parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships, self confidence, summer camp, teen driving
30 is the new 10, or at best 20; Raising an adult child
I recently had lunch with my old buddy and his 35 year-old son. As we were celebrating that “50” is the “new 60”, and “50” is the “new 40”, he chimed in, yeah and “30 is the new 10”. We all laughed at that comment! There are many, many young adults between the ages of 18-35 who have successfully moved into adulthood. (How To Be and Adult) and my blog 18 steps to becoming an adult. If your grown child falls into the category of being a true adult, is self-supporting and self-empowered, then kudos to you for your contribution as a parents, and kudos to them for stepping up and showing up. This article may not apply to them or you. However, if you are in the growing group of parents … Read entire article »
Filed under: gratitude, parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships, self confidence
The Problem with Losing Weight
The problem with losing weight is that under most circumstances, with the exception of illness and eating disorders, we view it as positive, even though it contains the word losing. It is peculiar how we use words. A similar situation is occurs with the phrase falling in love. Aren’t we really rising to love? Falling seems so helpless. Here is how I turn losing weight into a gain that actually helps the pounds stay off. In my family there is a prevailing tendency to gain weight easily. It is in our genes, and to make matters more difficult, we are stress eaters, recreational eaters and we so often love what we shouldn’t eat. Many of us are continually putting on weight, taking it off, putting it on again, and the losing it. It is a … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
How to be Heard when Parenting your Teens
Don’t charge it! It is costly to say things with a “charge”, find a better way say it and be heard. Parents only have the part of the day that is left after school, extra-curricular activities and social time. When you add in sleep, parents of children, pre-teens and teens are lucky to have a few quality hours with their kids on weekdays, and often not much more on weekends. How we spend the time in the morning before school, time driving to school and other places, at and after dinner in reality dictates our relationship or non-relationship with our children. We have these few hours to model functional living, self-responsibility, social manners, positive attitude, work ethic, cooperative family life, not to speak of all of the values and virtues we want … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
A response to the massacre at a grammar school in Connecticut
Why does it take an unthinkable, horrific tragedy to put things in perspective? Everyday challenges and struggles are our usual drama. In parenting children, pre- teens and teens, we rarely encounter a day that is not filled with frustrating issues, incidents and difficult decisions. They seem big. We make them big. We make them huge. We treat them as if our lives depend on their resolution. We spar, bicker and argue. We criticize and blame each other and try to make sense of the constant trials and tribulations of parenting. We worry about finances, fearfully anticipate the cost of an unexpected car repair. We struggle with the eventuality of how we are going to pay for our teen’s college education. We multitask until we don’t know up from down, forward from backwards, right … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Parenting Teens at 17
Being a teen is a complicated place to be right now. Being a parent of a teen is a delicate place to be. It often seems that the world is getting harder and more complex for each generation. As a parent of teens, I often wonder how I would feel about the world at this moment. If I Were 17 Sure…. I’d be angry too, if I were 17. I’d be angry about the world I am being given. I’d be frustrated with the stubbornness of change. I’d be disappointed that it has gotten to his point. I’d be let down that my college loans will haunt me for years. I’d be disenchanted about the dreams I had as a young child. I’d be discouraged about my future and my dreams. I’d be apathetic about changing the world. I’d be … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
Parenting Your Teens and Media-Part 3
Marshall Mckluen, the ‘60s visionary who wrote and lectured on the assets and liabilities of media and particularly television, pointed out that every new invention creates the possibility of making what preceded it obsolete. It depends on the conscious and unconscious intention. Power screwdrivers have been a great time and effort saver, yet we still find uses for a conventional screwdriver. Cars are a daily necessity, and yet we still ride bikes and walk. E-books and audio books offer incredible choices in keeping well-read, and we still buy books. We can hear and see any kind of music in the world with audio devices, and yet we still pay high prices for live concerts. In Mcluen’s illustration of the invention and subsequent societal saturation with the car, he suggests that we must … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, Uncategorized
Parenting Your Teens and Media-Part 2
Parenting of teens and children has been here since the beginning of time. Before adolescence came to be, we simply had childhood and then adulthood. However, there has always been a transitional period from childhood to adulthood. There has been some kind of quintessential struggle, in that to rear a child is a juxtiposition of directing a child towards independence, and holding them back when they are about to jump too far, or miss a step. Raising children brings the challenge of choosing our battles, staying uncharged, calm, and rational. Media, in all of its different forms has been here since the beginning of the written word. It’s been here in its most primitive form on cave walls, and its most current form in various virtual medians. There have always been people … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips
Parenting Your Teens and Media-Part 1
Children and teens will always be attracted to the latest version of media, chomping at the bit to own the newest version of the newest gadget. The striving for connection in a busy high-speed society births a strong urge for mediums to do so. To resist and try to block it is an ultimately futile endeavor. To give children and teens license and unrestricted access, and ignore the pitfalls is neglectful. The question is not whether we will “allow” a child exposure to a given stimulus, but when. That however becomes more and more difficult with the media saturation of our lives. It is easy to blame media for the ills of our society and the habits of our children. We have villanized entities which have no inherent moral ills for … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting teens
Russian Roulette; Parenting Your Teens and Risky Behaviors Part 2
If you equate “the random bullet” in Russian Roulette with the chance that substances have for impacting your life negatively, one can see the analogy. In many cases it appears that (viewing statistics) 93%-97% of those who use or experiment with substances will not seem to have noticeable adverse effects. Five to seven percent will have serious problems. In many cases, children and teens empirically observe adults and peers “using” in front of them, with no apparent adverse consequences. This can encourage them to believe that they can also use and “get away” without the likelihood of addiction or other related problems. At least with Russian Roulette, the outcome is clear, and you are well aware you are playing with chance, luck or fate. In substance use, factors such as amount consumed … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting help