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ParentingPanicButton » Entries tagged with "parenting tips"

Concerns, Tough Questions and Solutions for Parenting Teens-Part 2

Me and and many of my colleagues carry a deep concern and are asking tough questions about why self harm and eating disorders are on the increase for our teens and young adults.   Are we falling short as parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sports coaches and role models in encouraging living values and virtues in our children of compassion, empathy, self-reliance, honesty, perseverance, gratitude, and appreciation? Are our children and teens so saturated with acquired things and constant entertainment, that they have no time to relax?  Are we teaching stress and achievement neurosis and ego driven competition as a life curriculum?  Are we ourselves modeling materialism, multitasking, and technological idolatry?  Are we using the current “economic hard times” as an excuse for pushing our kids harder and harder?  Are we teaching them what to … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips

30 is the new 10, or at best 20; Raising an adult child

I recently had lunch with my old buddy and his 35 year-old son.  As we were celebrating that “50” is the “new 60”, and “50” is the “new 40”, he chimed in, yeah and “30 is the new 10”.  We all laughed at that comment! There are many, many young adults between the ages of 18-35 who have successfully moved into adulthood. (How To Be and Adult) and my blog 18 steps to becoming an adult.   If your grown child falls into the category of being a true adult, is self-supporting and self-empowered, then kudos to you for your contribution as a parents, and kudos to them for stepping up and showing up.  This article may not apply to them or you. However, if you are in the growing group of parents … Read entire article »

Filed under: gratitude, parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships, self confidence

How to be Heard when Parenting your Teens

Don’t charge it! It is costly to say things with a “charge”, find a better way say it and be heard. Parents only have the part of the day that is left after school, extra-curricular activities and social time.  When you add in sleep, parents of children, pre-teens and teens are lucky to have a few quality hours with their kids on weekdays, and often not much more on weekends.  How we spend the time in the morning before school, time driving to school and other places, at and after dinner in reality dictates our relationship or non-relationship with our children. We have these few hours to model functional living, self-responsibility, social manners, positive attitude, work ethic, cooperative family life, not to speak of all of the values and virtues we want … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips

A response to the massacre at a grammar school in Connecticut

Why does it take an unthinkable, horrific tragedy to put things in perspective? Everyday challenges and struggles are our usual drama.  In parenting children, pre- teens and teens, we rarely encounter a day that is not filled with frustrating issues, incidents and difficult decisions. They seem big.  We make them big.  We make them huge.  We treat them as if our lives depend on their resolution.  We spar, bicker and argue.  We criticize and blame each other and try to make sense of the constant   trials and tribulations of parenting. We worry about finances, fearfully anticipate the cost of an unexpected car repair. We struggle with the eventuality of how we are going to pay for our teen’s college education. We multitask until we don’t know up from down, forward from backwards, right … Read entire article »

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Parenting Teens at 17

Being a teen is a complicated place to be right now.  Being a parent of a teen is a delicate place to be.  It often seems that the world is getting harder and more complex for each generation.  As a parent of teens, I often wonder how I would feel about the world at this moment. If I Were 17 Sure…. I’d be angry too, if I were 17.  I’d be angry about the world I am being given. I’d be frustrated with the stubbornness of change. I’d be disappointed that it has gotten to his point. I’d be let down that my college loans will haunt me for years. I’d be disenchanted about the dreams I had as a young child. I’d be discouraged about my future and my dreams. I’d be apathetic about changing the world. I’d be … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips

Choosing the Role of Step-Parent Part 1

I have been a step-parent of children on and off for the last 32 years.   It is an awesome, rewarding, and sometimes thankless privilege for which I am continually grateful.  My relationship with each of my six step-children has brought me opportunities for inner and outer growth.  I am a fervent believer in karma, so I know I was meant to be in their lives, and they, in mine.  Here are some of the collective lessons I have learned, and joys I continue to cherish. If you are going to be committed to a relationship with someone who already has children, know that the children will be in your life.  That is not a choice.  If you truly love your partner, you must fully accept their children, or step back before … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting tips

Effective Parenting and Exhaustion–Part 2

Now that you have taken the first step toward effective parenting and you have someone you can talk to, take the second step towards effective parenting. Decide what is working and what isn’t.  Then choose one thing that isn’t working.  Let’s say it is the morning that is the biggest problem. Bring your family together (make sure your partner is on board).  Do this after dinner the night before.  Let them know what the drill will be in the morning, what the tasks will be and when the “bus leaves”. Make sure each child knows his/her tasks and has them in writing.  Give the kids one wakeup call at the time you think is appropriate, and let them know they will get only one wakeup call.  Do not micromanage them, although you … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting tips

Effective Parenting and Exhaustion–Part 1

“Why can’t I get any respect? I am way too nice and I just give everyone too many chances and everything they want…I try to be balanced in life. I struggle; so does everyone. I want to make everyone happy but what about myself? I feel more confused about life than ever. I am sad, I love people so much and I try to always have the right intentions, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, I hate crying at 7:30 am getting the double flip off fingers………………. I am not very good at curbing my personality to such strong personalities. I wish I knew the answer…. I just need to sit by the river and relax or something…………” These are the words of a mom who just got … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips

Feel Powerless in Parenting Your Teens?

What do I do if I have given up all of my parental authority to my kids and feel powerless? Your kids have you programmed.  They know exactly how many times to ignore you before you get upset and lose it.  You are constantly spending time trying to figure out how to say things to your kids without upsetting them.  You are intimidated by the fear that your child will “melt down” and throw a fit.  You find yourself apologizing for parenting your own teen.  You are worried that your child will stop loving you. You’re arguing with your parenting partner about how to parent teens.  You are stepping down to their level, yelling, crying and even swearing at them.  They do what they want when they want, and you are … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips

Karma Savings Account…It Pays to be Nice!

In parenting teens and children, we often ask why they cannot be nice, or ask nicely.  Teens are often told they have a “bad attitude” and parents of teens are known for being annoyed by such behavior. There are many reasons to be nice, kind, cooperative and healthfully compliant  The fruits and rewards of “good behavior” are endless.  There are often no immediate rewards for being nice, and many of us default to being “snarky”, nasty, contentious, contrary and difficult.  Many folks have this negative, aggressive approach confused with “assertiveness”.  “If I am difficult, I will get my way. People will strive to please me and give in more easily.”  “If I am too nice, people will walk all over me”, “No good deed goes unpunished!”  We often even congratulate each other … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips