ParentingPanicButton » Entries tagged with "parenting teens"
Parenting Your Teens; 10 is the new 30
While so many of our young adults are coming back home from college, jobless, penniless and in debt (”. http://www.rickconcoff.com/2013/02/30-is-the-new-10-or-at-best-20-raising-an-adult-child/) and totally dependent on us, many of us continue to treat our children like “little adults”. Thus “30 is the New 10” and “10 is the New 30. What does this all mean? Back in “the day “(40’s- 60’s) “authoritarian parenting” was common. This essentially featured such strategies and admonitions as “you will do what I say when I say it”, “In my house we you will do it our way.”, “Do as I say, not as I do” and “Children should be seen and not heard.” Violations often were met with strict punishments, ridicule, humiliation, verbal and physical abuse. Thank goodness we are not “back in that day” anymore! That approach and … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
What if your adorable 10 year old wrote you this letter on his/her 11th birthday?
Dear Mom and Dad or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom Dad or Mom, (choose 1 or more) I am 11 today, and still rather innocent. I know all of the words to the edgiest songs and I sing along, but I don’t know yet what they mean. I dance with sexy moves and know the latest slang, and lots of people think it is cute. I am just noticing my “pre-teen” body and suddenly care what I look like, a lot! I am noticing that you are not as perfect as I thought you were when I was younger, and you are noticing that I am not as willing to please you. Suddenly, I would rather be with my friends than you, be texting rather than socializing at a family event … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
Concerns, Tough Questions and Solutions for Parenting Teens-Part 2
Me and and many of my colleagues carry a deep concern and are asking tough questions about why self harm and eating disorders are on the increase for our teens and young adults. Are we falling short as parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sports coaches and role models in encouraging living values and virtues in our children of compassion, empathy, self-reliance, honesty, perseverance, gratitude, and appreciation? Are our children and teens so saturated with acquired things and constant entertainment, that they have no time to relax? Are we teaching stress and achievement neurosis and ego driven competition as a life curriculum? Are we ourselves modeling materialism, multitasking, and technological idolatry? Are we using the current “economic hard times” as an excuse for pushing our kids harder and harder? Are we teaching them what to … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
Parenting our Teens; Helping them with their Stress- Part 1
This article is about how stress causes problems in our teens like self harm, eating disorders, depression, anxiety and suicide In case you don’t have time to read this, but want the information, here you go: Spend enough quality time with your teens and pre-teens so that you continue to know them and have healthy attachment through these difficult years. Have a clear view of what the parameters of “normal” are for your child, and pay attention to behaviors that call out for help. Sometimes these behaviors will seem like they are intended to alienate you, but don’t fall for it. Not being a therapist or a clinician, I see it as appropriate for me to refrain from description, diagnosis, analysis or suggested remedy for these challenges, and for the rise in their … Read entire article »
Filed under: Blessings, children's music studies, Common Ground, Featured, gratitude, Jewish Community Events, Oakland A's, parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships, self confidence, summer camp, teen driving
30 is the new 10, or at best 20; Raising an adult child
I recently had lunch with my old buddy and his 35 year-old son. As we were celebrating that “50” is the “new 60”, and “50” is the “new 40”, he chimed in, yeah and “30 is the new 10”. We all laughed at that comment! There are many, many young adults between the ages of 18-35 who have successfully moved into adulthood. (How To Be and Adult) and my blog 18 steps to becoming an adult. If your grown child falls into the category of being a true adult, is self-supporting and self-empowered, then kudos to you for your contribution as a parents, and kudos to them for stepping up and showing up. This article may not apply to them or you. However, if you are in the growing group of parents … Read entire article »
Filed under: gratitude, parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships, self confidence
The Problem with Losing Weight
The problem with losing weight is that under most circumstances, with the exception of illness and eating disorders, we view it as positive, even though it contains the word losing. It is peculiar how we use words. A similar situation is occurs with the phrase falling in love. Aren’t we really rising to love? Falling seems so helpless. Here is how I turn losing weight into a gain that actually helps the pounds stay off. In my family there is a prevailing tendency to gain weight easily. It is in our genes, and to make matters more difficult, we are stress eaters, recreational eaters and we so often love what we shouldn’t eat. Many of us are continually putting on weight, taking it off, putting it on again, and the losing it. It is a … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
How to be Heard when Parenting your Teens
Don’t charge it! It is costly to say things with a “charge”, find a better way say it and be heard. Parents only have the part of the day that is left after school, extra-curricular activities and social time. When you add in sleep, parents of children, pre-teens and teens are lucky to have a few quality hours with their kids on weekdays, and often not much more on weekends. How we spend the time in the morning before school, time driving to school and other places, at and after dinner in reality dictates our relationship or non-relationship with our children. We have these few hours to model functional living, self-responsibility, social manners, positive attitude, work ethic, cooperative family life, not to speak of all of the values and virtues we want … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
A response to the massacre at a grammar school in Connecticut
Why does it take an unthinkable, horrific tragedy to put things in perspective? Everyday challenges and struggles are our usual drama. In parenting children, pre- teens and teens, we rarely encounter a day that is not filled with frustrating issues, incidents and difficult decisions. They seem big. We make them big. We make them huge. We treat them as if our lives depend on their resolution. We spar, bicker and argue. We criticize and blame each other and try to make sense of the constant trials and tribulations of parenting. We worry about finances, fearfully anticipate the cost of an unexpected car repair. We struggle with the eventuality of how we are going to pay for our teen’s college education. We multitask until we don’t know up from down, forward from backwards, right … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Parenting Teens at 17
Being a teen is a complicated place to be right now. Being a parent of a teen is a delicate place to be. It often seems that the world is getting harder and more complex for each generation. As a parent of teens, I often wonder how I would feel about the world at this moment. If I Were 17 Sure…. I’d be angry too, if I were 17. I’d be angry about the world I am being given. I’d be frustrated with the stubbornness of change. I’d be disappointed that it has gotten to his point. I’d be let down that my college loans will haunt me for years. I’d be disenchanted about the dreams I had as a young child. I’d be discouraged about my future and my dreams. I’d be apathetic about changing the world. I’d be … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
Effective Parenting and Exhaustion–Part 1
“Why can’t I get any respect? I am way too nice and I just give everyone too many chances and everything they want…I try to be balanced in life. I struggle; so does everyone. I want to make everyone happy but what about myself? I feel more confused about life than ever. I am sad, I love people so much and I try to always have the right intentions, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, I hate crying at 7:30 am getting the double flip off fingers………………. I am not very good at curbing my personality to such strong personalities. I wish I knew the answer…. I just need to sit by the river and relax or something…………” These are the words of a mom who just got … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips