ParentingPanicButton » Entries tagged with "parenting advice"
What if your adorable 10 year old wrote you this letter on his/her 11th birthday?
Dear Mom and Dad or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom Dad or Mom, (choose 1 or more) I am 11 today, and still rather innocent. I know all of the words to the edgiest songs and I sing along, but I don’t know yet what they mean. I dance with sexy moves and know the latest slang, and lots of people think it is cute. I am just noticing my “pre-teen” body and suddenly care what I look like, a lot! I am noticing that you are not as perfect as I thought you were when I was younger, and you are noticing that I am not as willing to please you. Suddenly, I would rather be with my friends than you, be texting rather than socializing at a family event … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
Concerns, Tough Questions and Solutions for Parenting Teens-Part 2
Me and and many of my colleagues carry a deep concern and are asking tough questions about why self harm and eating disorders are on the increase for our teens and young adults. Are we falling short as parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sports coaches and role models in encouraging living values and virtues in our children of compassion, empathy, self-reliance, honesty, perseverance, gratitude, and appreciation? Are our children and teens so saturated with acquired things and constant entertainment, that they have no time to relax? Are we teaching stress and achievement neurosis and ego driven competition as a life curriculum? Are we ourselves modeling materialism, multitasking, and technological idolatry? Are we using the current “economic hard times” as an excuse for pushing our kids harder and harder? Are we teaching them what to … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
30 is the new 10, or at best 20; Raising an adult child
I recently had lunch with my old buddy and his 35 year-old son. As we were celebrating that “50” is the “new 60”, and “50” is the “new 40”, he chimed in, yeah and “30 is the new 10”. We all laughed at that comment! There are many, many young adults between the ages of 18-35 who have successfully moved into adulthood. (How To Be and Adult) and my blog 18 steps to becoming an adult. If your grown child falls into the category of being a true adult, is self-supporting and self-empowered, then kudos to you for your contribution as a parents, and kudos to them for stepping up and showing up. This article may not apply to them or you. However, if you are in the growing group of parents … Read entire article »
Filed under: gratitude, parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships, self confidence
The Problem with Losing Weight
The problem with losing weight is that under most circumstances, with the exception of illness and eating disorders, we view it as positive, even though it contains the word losing. It is peculiar how we use words. A similar situation is occurs with the phrase falling in love. Aren’t we really rising to love? Falling seems so helpless. Here is how I turn losing weight into a gain that actually helps the pounds stay off. In my family there is a prevailing tendency to gain weight easily. It is in our genes, and to make matters more difficult, we are stress eaters, recreational eaters and we so often love what we shouldn’t eat. Many of us are continually putting on weight, taking it off, putting it on again, and the losing it. It is a … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
How to be Heard when Parenting your Teens
Don’t charge it! It is costly to say things with a “charge”, find a better way say it and be heard. Parents only have the part of the day that is left after school, extra-curricular activities and social time. When you add in sleep, parents of children, pre-teens and teens are lucky to have a few quality hours with their kids on weekdays, and often not much more on weekends. How we spend the time in the morning before school, time driving to school and other places, at and after dinner in reality dictates our relationship or non-relationship with our children. We have these few hours to model functional living, self-responsibility, social manners, positive attitude, work ethic, cooperative family life, not to speak of all of the values and virtues we want … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
A response to the massacre at a grammar school in Connecticut
Why does it take an unthinkable, horrific tragedy to put things in perspective? Everyday challenges and struggles are our usual drama. In parenting children, pre- teens and teens, we rarely encounter a day that is not filled with frustrating issues, incidents and difficult decisions. They seem big. We make them big. We make them huge. We treat them as if our lives depend on their resolution. We spar, bicker and argue. We criticize and blame each other and try to make sense of the constant trials and tribulations of parenting. We worry about finances, fearfully anticipate the cost of an unexpected car repair. We struggle with the eventuality of how we are going to pay for our teen’s college education. We multitask until we don’t know up from down, forward from backwards, right … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Parenting Teens at 17
Being a teen is a complicated place to be right now. Being a parent of a teen is a delicate place to be. It often seems that the world is getting harder and more complex for each generation. As a parent of teens, I often wonder how I would feel about the world at this moment. If I Were 17 Sure…. I’d be angry too, if I were 17. I’d be angry about the world I am being given. I’d be frustrated with the stubbornness of change. I’d be disappointed that it has gotten to his point. I’d be let down that my college loans will haunt me for years. I’d be disenchanted about the dreams I had as a young child. I’d be discouraged about my future and my dreams. I’d be apathetic about changing the world. I’d be … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips
Parenting Your Teens and Media-Part 2
Parenting of teens and children has been here since the beginning of time. Before adolescence came to be, we simply had childhood and then adulthood. However, there has always been a transitional period from childhood to adulthood. There has been some kind of quintessential struggle, in that to rear a child is a juxtiposition of directing a child towards independence, and holding them back when they are about to jump too far, or miss a step. Raising children brings the challenge of choosing our battles, staying uncharged, calm, and rational. Media, in all of its different forms has been here since the beginning of the written word. It’s been here in its most primitive form on cave walls, and its most current form in various virtual medians. There have always been people … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips
Choosing the Role of Step-Parent Part 1
I have been a step-parent of children on and off for the last 32 years. It is an awesome, rewarding, and sometimes thankless privilege for which I am continually grateful. My relationship with each of my six step-children has brought me opportunities for inner and outer growth. I am a fervent believer in karma, so I know I was meant to be in their lives, and they, in mine. Here are some of the collective lessons I have learned, and joys I continue to cherish. If you are going to be committed to a relationship with someone who already has children, know that the children will be in your life. That is not a choice. If you truly love your partner, you must fully accept their children, or step back before … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting tips
Effective Parenting and Exhaustion–Part 2
Now that you have taken the first step toward effective parenting and you have someone you can talk to, take the second step towards effective parenting. Decide what is working and what isn’t. Then choose one thing that isn’t working. Let’s say it is the morning that is the biggest problem. Bring your family together (make sure your partner is on board). Do this after dinner the night before. Let them know what the drill will be in the morning, what the tasks will be and when the “bus leaves”. Make sure each child knows his/her tasks and has them in writing. Give the kids one wakeup call at the time you think is appropriate, and let them know they will get only one wakeup call. Do not micromanage them, although you … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting tips