Effective Parenting and Exhaustion–Part 1

“Why can’t I get any respect? I am way too nice and I just give everyone too many chances and everything they want…I try to be balanced in life. I struggle; so does everyone. I want to make everyone happy but what about myself?

I feel more confused about life than ever. I am sad, I love people so much and I try to always have the right intentions, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, I hate crying at 7:30 am getting the double flip off fingers………………. I am not very good at curbing my personality to such strong personalities. I wish I knew the answer…. I just need to sit by the river and relax or something…………”

These are the words of a mom who just got the kids off to school; a teen, a pre-teen and an 8 year old.  She is tired, worn down, and has not event recuperated from the meltdown that happened at 10:30 last night.

She gives, and gives and gives until she has nothing left for herself. She is in a spiral of “parenting from exhaustion.”  And then she has to go to work and pretend that everything is okay.

Whether you are a mom, a dad, a stepparent or any other kind of parent, if you identify with this, you are not alone.  You have comrades and allies all across the world that would encourage you to show up.  It is never too late to show up, and show that you mean it.  Now is as good a time as any if you have challenges parenting your teen.

First, find someone whom you can talk to and get some perspective.  It can be a confidant, a relative or a therapist.  You need support.  You need an ally who will help you show up.  Chances are you have had this issue your whole life.  It is old, and it is time for a new story.  See that person regularly and make sure you regard their advice as being of value.